Many years ago, my best friend left me for a guy. Really, I never understood what happened, and it's not particularly relevant anymore, except I was contemplating my upcoming birthday and the changes I want to make in my life and I realized I have not had a close female friend since our "falling out". Like, more than 15 years. (Somewhat) Ironically, she and I reconnected on FB (of course) and picked right up where we left off; the wicked sense of humor that makes others uncomfortable, the shared experiences, etc.
The difference now? I can live without her. I didn't know that back then. It really broke my heart, shook foundations of belief within me. She was part of my identity, and she left. Now, I think I no longer have the ability to let anyone that close. I've not been honestly close with another woman since then. I've had acquaintances, co-workers, etc., but if I were pressed to name my best friend, it would be a soul-mate/platonic guy who I only talk to a few times a year. And female friends? A handful of ladies from the past I keep up with on FB. No phone calls, girls night out, any of that stuff.
What is that? Just growing up, maturing? Realizing you can stand on your own (and this is just one of the many things which lead to THAT epiphany!)? Or is this something abnormal and strange that I should be "working on"? I dunno. It's something I'm thinking about.
Some days I wave.
17 hours ago